As a trauma therapist, safety is at the core of the work I do, part of the ingredients of safety come through choice, space, and pace. I like to explain safety less as an intellectual concept, but rather the felt sense of being able to be in…be in the moment, be in one’s body, be in a space/place/environment, be in relationship, as you are IN yourself. Staying in oneself as the anchor of safety (instead of popping into a fear response that takes you far from things..). To explore the felt sense of safety, I encourage considering these ingredients for yourself to sense into what safety feels like within your own system, and what sincerely allows you to drop in, and stay in. These ingredients are not mental concepts, they are the language of the body, the nervous system, they are natural points to work within one’s system to sense back into a safer center, the sanctuary within.
By choice I mean, there is internal autonomy, flexibility, optionality baked in, in lieu of a fixation or force point (the body does not like force, or extremes…this approach often pushed actually dysregulates..creating more distress and distance from one’s natural middle). This choice allows a natural embodied nudge towards this relationship with oneself instead of a fear based control.
What choice is currently existing in your life for this safety to come through? Does this support your sense of self..or do you sense you may need more? (no right or wrong, only an honest inquiry to cultivate what can be!)? What might choice allow for?
By space I mean the time, clearing, and carved out space you hold for yourself to cultivate and build a felt sense of inner safety.
What space is currently existing in your life for this safety to come through? Does this support your sense of self..or do you sense you may need more? (no right or wrong, only an honest inquiry to cultivate what can be!)? What might space allow for?
By pace I mean the patience of process, the pace of deepening and embodying learning in oneself from a sensed and felt place (in lieu of just a mental striving or conceptualization). Picture the pace of a flowers growth through the seasons, steady, true, trustworthy!
How do you relate to the pace of yourself? What is the felt pace of your life? Does this support your sense of self…or do you sense you may need to shift? (no right or wrong, only an honest inquiry to cultivate what can be!). What might pace allow for?
I ask you to meditate on the following self-reflective questions to deepen into how these ingredients are currently in your life (no judgement!) and if you sense you would want to shift these ingredients in any way. Again there is no needed formal meditation on these questions, let them live in you as you move through your day. Through honest inquiry this will allow oneself to truly feel like a home base, because you have been willing to look at what is, and wonder about what can be (inherently inviting safety into your experience).
